


sometimes all i think about is you

by kusuos



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Kozume Kenma, Alternate Universe - Youtubers, Angst and Humor, Banter, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Cis People, Nonbinary Akaashi Keiji, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Kozume Kenma, Nonbinary Oikawa Tooru, Past Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Social Media, Texting, Trans Hinata Shouyou, Trans Male Character, Twitter, YouTube, a bit of angst too, chatfic, so much fucking banter youll be sick of it, vlogs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28725750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusuos/pseuds/kusuos
Summary: towobioKAWA HELP IM SO FUCKING GAYglittertooru????glittertoorutell me something i dont already knowa haikyuu youtube au
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Past Kozume Kenma/Hinata Shoyo, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 72
Kudos: 380





	1. you got my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter @translawliet for updates!

_October 17th_

“Oh my god,” 

Kenma looked up from where they were typing on their macbook at their best friend, Shoyo Hinata, a simple ‘what the hell are you talking about’ in their eyes. 

“Kageyama Tobio just publicly came out.” 

Kenma’s cat eyes widened. “Who?” 

“You know, the fashion and lifestyle youtuber?” 

“Oh, the one you have a crush on.” 

“I do _not_ have a crush on him.” 

Kenma rolled their eyes. “Sure, Shoyo.” 

* * *

_Youtube Comments, October 17th_

_on “Hey (Coming Out)”_

_video posted by_ **towobio** _(367,110 views)_

 **towobio** just a warning, any more homophobic comments will not be tolerated. i’ve already had to delete a few.  
 **towobio** i understand that you may be against my basic values and who i am but this is a public domain and id like you to be respectful  
 **towobio** so homophobes, fuck off

* * *

_Youtube Comments, October 18th_

_on “Hey (Coming Out)”_

_video posted by_ **towobio** _(498,110 views)_

 **kodzuken** hey i just wanted to say ur rlly brave for coming out, especially so soon after everything that’s been happening recently. ur an incredible person and an icon to me and my best friend, + **sunsho** , we love ur vids. keep doing what ur doing. 

**towobio** \+ **kodzuken** this means a lot to me, i watch your vids religiously, thank u sm. 

* * *

_DM Contents, October 18th_

**sunsho** to **kodzuken**

 **** **sunsho** KENMAAAAAA  
 **sunsho** WHY WOULD YOU TAG ME  
 **sunsho** NOW HE KNOWS I EXIST 

**kodzuken** you’re welcome, shoyo

 **sunsho** > :(

 **kodzuken** dont make that face at me, now something’s finally gonna happen   
**kodzuken** and now i dont have to listen to u pining over them every time he posts a vid

 **sunsho**...fair

* * *

_DM Contents, October 18_

**towobio** to **glittertooru**

 **towobio** KAWA HELP IM SO FUCKING GAY

 **glittertooru** ????   
**glittertooru** tell me something i dont already know  
 **glittertooru** we all know ur gay tobio, u literally just came out to the world

 **towobio** kodzuken linked their best friend in a reply and he’s SO CUTE I CANT   
**towobio** IM MALFUNCTIONING 

**glittertooru** NAME NOW NOW NOW

 **towobio** NO STEALING  
 **towobio** YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND REMEMBER

 **glittertooru** wait did u just say THEE kodzuken ?????

 **towobio** yeah

 **glittertooru** WHAT THE FUCK 

**towobio** he’s + **sunsho**

 **glittertooru** hes kind of hot. 

**towobio** GAHHHHH I KNOWWWWWW

* * *

_Youtube Comments, October 19th_

_on “Hey (Coming Out)”_

_video posted by_ **towobio** _(500,110 views)_

 **sunsho** \+ **kodzuken** thanks for tagging me here  
 **sunsho** \+ **towobio** IM RLLY LATE BUT im just sitting here screaming abt the fact that ur gay  
 **sunsho** sorry if thats weird

 **towobio** \+ **sunsho** tbh im doing the same thing  
 **towobio** i cant believe im OUT 

**sunsho** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **towobio** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

* * *

_DM Contents, October 20th_

**sunsho** to **kodzuken**

 **sunsho** how do i ask for his number kenma help 

**kodzuken** just ask him ?? 

**sunsho** THEYRE FAMOUS

 **kodzuken** so are u, shoyo

 **sunsho** oh yeah

* * *

_Mail Contents, October 20th_

**kageyamatobio@gmail.com** to **kodzukenyt@gmail.com**

Hey Kenma, 

Just wanted to make sure you have my email, could you give me Shoyo’s too? I feel like we could do a pretty great collab. 

  * Tobio



* * *

_Mail Contents, October 20th_

**kodzukenyt@gmail.com** to **kageyamatobio@gmail.com**

Tobio--

Thank you! I’ll give you our instagram handles instead, we’re more active on there, the @’s are the same as our youtube channel names. Maybe we can plan to meet at some point too? 

Oh and I have a new video up, it’s me and Shoyo playing this new horror game. You might like it. 

\-- Kenma. 

* * *

_Mail Contents, October 21st_

**kageyamatobio@gmail.com** to **kodzukenyt@gmail.com**

I’ll check it out, I bet it’s great. 

Um, you guys aren’t together, though, right? 

* * *

_Mail Contents, October 21st_

**kodzukenyt@gmail.com** to **kageyamatobio@gmail.com**

LMAO no we dated once but I have a boyfriend now. 

* * *

_DM Contents, October 21st_

**towobio** to **glittertooru**

 **towobio** HES GAY  
 **towobio** TOORU HES GAY   
**towobio** I HAVE A CHANCE

 **glittertooru** WHAT  
 **glittertooru** tbh he looks like a het

 **towobio** SHUT THE FUCK UP   
**towobio** OR ILL TELL IWA WHAT YOU DID LAST WEEK

 **glittertooru** HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABT THAT ?!

 **towobio** HAHAHAHAHA  
 **towobio** I DIDNT KNOW ANYTHING FOR SURE I JUST KNOW U TOO WELL

 **glittertooru** I HATE YOU

* * *

_Group DM Contents, October 22nd_

_for “hey guys”_

_admin_ **towobio** _(2 more users in chat)_

 **towobio** hey 

**sunsho** hi :)

* * *

_DM Contents, October 22nd_

**towobio** to **glittertooru**

 **towobio** HE SENT ME A SMILEY FACE AHHHH

 **glittertooru** gayass mf

 **towobio** FUCK YOU

 **glittertooru** i have a boyfriend, tobio

 **towobio** you make me insane

 **gittertooru** you love it <3

**towobio …**

* * *

_October 23rd_

“Tooru, I’m not letting you do my makeup again after what happened last time.” 

“Please,” Oikawa whined. “Tobio, you’re my best friend, I’d do anything for you.” 

Tobio rolled his eyes. “I can’t stand you.”

Oikawa cackled at the insult, knowing that he didn’t mean it. Making fun of each other was just the way that they showed affection. He turned to face Tobio, looking up from the eyeshadow palette he was holding and making puppy eyes at him. 

Tobio rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, I’ll let you. But you’re not allowed to film it or post it, and if I see a single picture of it on instagram you're _dead._ ” 

Oikawa made a noise of excitement and light shoved Tobio into the chair he had people sit in while he did their makeup and started attacking him with an eyeliner pencil. 

He was probably going to regret this, but Tobio let Oikawa have his fun. 

After all, what were best friends for? 

* * *

_Group DM Contents, October 23rd_

_for “name suggestions appreciated”_

_admin_ **towobio** _(2 more users in chat)_

 **towobio** we need a a gc name

 **sunsho** uhhhhhhh

 **kodzuken** uhhh idk

 **towobio** _has changed the chat name to “Cool Kids”_

 **kodzuken** we’re in our twenties. 

**sunsho** do you have anything better ?? 

**koduzuken** … 

**towobio** HELP  
 **towobio** wait can i add one of my friends?  
 **towobio** they might be interested in collabing with us too

 **kodzuken** sure

 **sunsho** sure :D

 **towobio** _has added_ **glittertooru** _to the chat  
_ **towobio** _has changed the chat name to “Cool Kids (and Oikawa)_

 **glittertooru** WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS IM A COOL KID TOO

 **kodzuken** i am once again pointing out that we are all in our twenties here

 **glittertooru** IS THAT THE REAL KODZUKEN IN THIS GC WHAT THE FUCK

 **kodzuken** the one and only ^__^

 **glittertooru** oh my god

 **glittertooru** _has changed that chat name to “fuck you tobio”_

**sunsho** ayo  
 **sunsho** wtf 

**sunsho** _has changed the chat name to “tobio appreciation club_ 😡 _”_

 **glittertooru** no. 

**glittertooru** _has changed the chat name to “tobio is a fugly slut”_

 **kodzuken** i- 

**sunsho** HELPDSKJSDJDS  
 **sunsho** are you two always like this?

 **towobio** yes

 **towobio** _has changed the chat name to “Collab ??”_

 **glittertooru** BORINGGGGG

 **towobio** idgaf

 **glittertooru** anyways, i did tobio’s makeup today, anyone wanna see? 

**towobio** TOORU DONT YOU FUCKING DARE SEND IT 

**sunsho** I WANNA SEE

 **glittertooru** [attachment: tobio.png] 

**sunsho** OMG   
**sunsho** IT LOOKS SO GOOD   
**sunsho** THAT'S SO COOL 

**glittertooru** THANKS I KNOW I'M THE BEST 

**towobio** i hate you oikawa 

**glittertooru** i love u too tobio  
 **glittertooru** oh wait   
**glittertooru** sorry i forgot to ask, but what are everyone’s pronouns?  
 **glittertooru** mine are they/he, all gendered terms ok 

**kodzuken** they/them, neutral terms

 **sunsho** he/him, masc or neutral terms

 **towobio** he/they, masc terms 

**glittertooru** shoyo are u cis

 **sunsho** ew no wtf  
 **sunsho** im trans if u didnt know i made a video abt it like last year idk if u saw

 **glittertooru** oh yeah i think i remember that   
**glittertooru** NO CIS PPL IN THE GC WOOOOO

 **towobio** WOOOOOOOOOOO

 **kodzuken** thank god

 **sunsho** :D

* * *

_DM Contents, October 23rd_

**sunsho** to **kodzuken**

**sunsho** HELP ME

 **kodzuken** did u set something on fire with the microwave again? 

**sunsho** NO IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT  
 **sunsho** ITS JUST--  
 **sunsho** IM SO GAYYY

 **kodzuken** shoyo. 

**sunsho** IM SORRY  
 **sunsho** I'VE JUST NEVER SEEN THEM IN EYELINER   
**sunsho** HE'S SO PRETTY 

**kodzuken** just tell him u like him already

 **sunsho** NO

 **kodzuken** sigh

* * *

_DM Contents, October 23rd_

**towobio** to **glittertooru**

 **glittertooru** you’re welcome :p

 **towobio**???  
 **towobio** for what? 

**glittertooru** now that he’s seen u in eyeliner he’s going to realize how hot u are and fall head over heels in love with you

 **towobio** dots literal dots  
 **towobio** he’s literally said three words to me he’s not going to fall in love with me ur crazy

 **glittertooru** just you wait bae  
 **glittertooru** just u wait

* * *

_Group DM Contents, October 25th_

_for “Collab ??”_

_admin_ **towobio** _(3 more users in chat)_

 **sunsho** guys  
 **sunsho** i just realized something 

**glittertooru** spill

 **sunsho** HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GONNA DO A COLLAB  
 **sunsho** i run an art channel, oikawa runs a makeup channel, kenma does gaming, and tobio does vlogs and sometimes fashion,,,,

 **towobio** WHAT THE FUCK WERE WE THINKING

 **kodzuken** well it’s not like we told anyone we were gonna do it

 **sunsho** uh kenma,,  
 **sunsho** the convo we had in tobio’s comment section is public and we were kind of hinting abt it

 **kodzuken** shit. 

**glittertooru** FUCK ME WITH A CHAINSAW

 **towobio** once again, no one here is going to fuck you  
 **towobio** YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND

 **glittertooru** ur right   
**glittertooru** and i love him very much 

**sunsho** stop rubbing it in our faces already i hate being single 

**towobio** same

 **kodzuken** we could just play minecraft  
 **kodzuken** because everyone knows how to play that

 **glittertooru** YESSSS

 **sunsho** no.   
**sunsho** im never playing minecraft with you again after last time  
 **sunsho** FUCK YOUR COMMAND BLOCKS

 **kodzuken** please sho? i’ll go easy on you

 **sunsho** fine

 **towobio** sounds good to me  
 **towobio** let’s go over the details tomorrow? 

**sunsho** yeah

 **glittertooru** sure

 **kodzuken** kk

* * *

_Group DM Contents, October 26th_

_for “Collab ??”_

_admin_ **towobio** _(3 more users in chat)_

 **towobio** is it okay if me and shoyo work on the planning ourselves  
 **towobio** bc no offense, we never get anything done bc me and tooru always fight   
**towoibo** and kenma’s always busy

 **kodzuken** that’d be great actually thanks

 **glittertooru** ofc   
**glittertooru** anything for u, tobi

 **towobio** I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT

 **glittertooru** :p

 **towobio** i have no words

* * *

_DM Contents, October 27th_

**towobio** to **sunsho**

**towobio** so…  
 **towobio** let’s plan this hell collab

 **sunsho** lets  
 **sunsho** you live in tokyo too, right? 

**towobio** yeah

 **sunsho** i think we should do it at kenma’s bc they already have a gaming setup for multiple people  
 **sunsho** plus they have the biggest apartment and i love going there to visit their cats

 **towobio** OMG I WANNA SEE THE CATS  
 **towobio** and that sounds perfect  
 **towobio** does the weekend of nov 6th sound okay? i know tooru’s free then

 **sunsho** im free  
 **sunsho** and ken runs their own company and manages their own schedule so they can clear it for anytime

 **towobio** it’s a date then!

* * *

_DM Contents, October 27th_

**sunsho** to **kodzuken**

 **sunsho** OH MY GODDDDDD  
 **sunsho** HE SAID ITS A DATE 

**kodzuken** oh did you guys pick a weekend for the collab yet?

 **sunsho** KENMAAA  
 **sunsho** HE SAID ITS A DATE ARENT U LISTENING

 **kodzuken** thats gay

 **sunsho** …  
 **sunsho** bold of u to speak   
**sunsho** and yeah it’s the weekend of nov 6th  
 **sunsho** i also volunteered ur apartment for the location

 **kodzuken** ok   
**kodzuken** cool i can work w that  
 **kodzuken** now tell him u like him already so i dont have to stop my streams to text you  
 **kodzuken** everyone keeps asking if im cheating on kuro bc i keep texting u during them 

**sunsho** HELLO ????  
 **sunsho** AND NO  
 **sunsho** im not telling him 

**kodzuken** you’ll regret it later  
 **kodzuken** trust me it happened w me and kuro

 **sunsho** but that’s different you were friends before

 **kodzuken** i guess,,  
 **kodzuken** i still think u should tell him 

* * *

After a week of waiting, the day of the collab finally comes around. 

Hinata arrives first to help with the setup; they make sure the cameras are set up and that all of the computers are logged in already. 

Kenmas already logged in, and is setting up the world, stocking chests with essential items for each player. They turn the difficulty up to hard and change the mode to survival. 

The door rings, and Kuroo, Kenma’s boyfriend, yells “Can I let them in?” from near the front door.

“Yeah,” shouts Kenma, and then there’s the sound of the door opening, and then two people waiting upstairs. 

“Hey,” says Kageyama shyly, lifting a hand in greeting. Oikawa waves from where he’s standing next to him, makeup done immaculately, and dressed in an oversized Star Wars t-shirt and skinny jeans. . 

“Just warning you, I’ve never actually played minecraft before,” Oikawa says sheepishly. “So I have no idea how this works.” 

“It’s okay,” Kenma replies. “I’ll give you instructions.” 

“Doesn’t your boyfriend run a gaming channel?” Hinata asks. 

Oikawa laughs. “He does, and he hates me for it. The only video game I’m actually good at is mario kart, and he can never beat me.” Something in his eyes grows softer at the mention of his boyfriend, and suddenly, he doesn’t seem as intimidating.

“Ooh, who do you main?” Kenma asks. 

“Rosalina,” he responds. 

Kenma smiles. “Nice, I usually play as dry bones.” 

The four of them settle into their chairs and Kenma explains how to work the controls for Oikawa. 

After only about half an hour of gaming, Kenma’s managed to get command blocks out of seemingly thin air, and is helping Hinata build a mansion, Tobio is mining for diamonds, and Oikawa is completely lost. 

“This thing looks cool,” says Oikawa, walking into a nether portal. “Oh _shit,_ where am I? Am I in hell? Is this what I get for being gay?” 

Hinata chokes out a laugh from where he’s sitting next to him. 

Oikawa screeches when he sees a pigman and Kenma laughs at him. 

“Click on them, Tooru,” they say. 

Oikawa does, and then starts screaming when the pigman and all of the ones near it start running after them. 

“What the fuck Kenma?!” 

He makes it through the portal just in time, but then his mouse glitches and he falls off of the mountain the portal is on top of, dying for what must be the fiftieth time since they started playing. 

Kenma can’t stop giggling, and Shoyo thinks they’re going to get a million comments about how cute their laugh is once the video is up. 

Tobio comes back from his mining trip and deposits his findings into his chest in the house that he and Shoyo share in the game. 

Kenma walks into their house uninvited, having easily gotten through Tobio’s trap system. 

They laugh again. “I can’t believe you put your beds together, that’s kind of gay.” 

Everyone else laughs with them, and Tobio’s face goes bright red. He throws a pen at Kenma lightheartedly, but Kenma dodges it and throws it right back at them, hitting him square in the face. 

Tooru high fives Kenma over his computer and Tobio can’t help but feel that this is the most fun he’s had in a long time. 

* * *

_Group DM Contents, November 6th_

_for “Collab ??”_

_admin_ **towobio** _(3 more users in chat)_

 **towobio** finally done editing! 

**glittertooru** please tell me you kept the part where kenma hit me in the face out

 **kodzuken** please tell me u kept it in

 **towobio** i kept it in

 **kodzuken** this is why ur my favorite

 **glittertooru** WHAT THE HELL TOBIO

 **sunsho** kenma i thought i was ur fave :((

 **kodzuken** dont worry u still are sho i can have two faves

 **towobio** should we save the video until after vidcon so we can add in vlogs or should we just post it now

 **sunsho** vidcon

 **kodzuken** vidcon

 **glittertooru** vidcon

 **towobio** cool see u then!

 **sunsho** wait does everyone have room arrangements yet? bc i need a roommate the hotels are fucking expensive  
 **sunsho** i know kenma does, they’re sharing a room w their bf 

**glittertooru** im rooming w iwa-chan  
 **glittertooru** tobio doesn’t have a roommate yet you guys can share

 **towobio** yeah if thats ok w u i dont mind

 **sunsho** ok sure great!

* * *

_DM Contents, November 6th_

**towobio** to **glittertooru**

 **towobio** KAWA WHAT THE FUCK   
**towobio** WHY WOULD U DO THAT  
 **towobio** I BOOKED A SINGLE BED ROOM   
**towobio** AND I CANT CHANGE IT BC THEYRE GOING TO BE FULL

 **glittertooru** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
 **glittertooru** AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

 **towobio** UR THE SCUM OF THE EARTH   
**towobio** STUPID GAY MFER   
**towobio** I HATE YOU

 **glittertooru** you’ll thank me later 

* * *

_Twitter, November 10th_

**tobio** @towobioyt

i remind you all once again to stay tuned for our collab! vidcon’s coming up fast!

@kodzukenyt @sunshoyt @glittertooru #vidcon

871🗨️ 13.7k⟲ 23.8k♡

> **shoyo ^__^** @sunshoyt
> 
> @towobioyt WOOOOOO I CANT WAIT!
> 
> 92🗨️ 917⟲ 6.2k♡
> 
> **kenma** @kodzukenyt
> 
> @towobioyt im ready for everyone to see me beating oikawa’s ass on camera
> 
> 73🗨️ 1.2k⟲ 5.8k♡

* * *

_Mail Contents, November 15th_

**donotreplytickets@vidcon.com** to **kodzukenyt@gmail.com**

Hello Kozume Kenma! We’re emailing to confirm your ticket reservations for the 2020 VidCon. Every year, thousands of fans, creators, and industry leaders come together to celebrate the power of online video. Please click the link to ensure you’ll have the information and tickets you need for November 28th. It’s coming up fast!


	2. heatwaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the convention and the aftermath

_Group DM Contents, November 25th_

_for “Collab ??”_

_admin_ **towobio** _(3 more users in chat)_

 **glittertooru** i cant wait for vidcon omgggg  
 **glittertooru** i feel like im losing my mind  
 **glittertooru** GAHHHHHHH

 **towobio** im   
**towobio** id make fun of u but i feel the exact same way  
 **towobio** i miss u guys

 **glittertooru** awwww you really do love me 

**towobio** not u 

**sunsho** lmaooo

 **kodzuken** id like to report a murder

 **glittertooru** i hate all of you 

* * *

_Twitter Trends, November 27th_

Trending in the United States

**#ANITWTSELCADAY**

7.2k Tweets

Content Creators ⋅ Trending 

**“vidcon”**

**> > trending with “tomorrow”**

Fans of popular youtubers await the start of Vidcon tomorrow, and prepare to watch their favorite content creators answer questions and post vlogs throughout the week. 

32.9k tweets

V League LIVE

**FROGS V. SNAKES**

watch live footage now here

Trending in the United States

**#LOONAISCOMING**

10.3k Tweets

click to see more trends

* * *

_November 28th_

Shoyo spends an unbearably long time waiting in the lobby of their hotel room waiting for Oikawa and Tobio to show up. 

Kenma is tapping away at their Nintendo Switch, completely uninterested in everything, and leaning against their boyfriend, Kuroo. 

He bounces up and down on the balls of his feet, trying to get out his nervous energy. It’s not like he hasn’t seen Tobio before, it’s just that this is the first time they’re going to be spending time alone. 

Eventually, there’s a shout of “Shoyo!” from a voice that is unmistakably Oikawa’s and he turns to see Tobio and him walking towards where they’re sitting.

He moves without thinking and pulls Tobio into a bone crushing hug. 

Tobio freezes at first, but then melts into the touch. After a few seconds, Shoyo releases him. 

“Wait shit, was that okay?” he asks. “I should’ve asked first, sorry.” 

Tobio pulls him into another hug. “That was perfect.” 

Shoyo’s entire face flushes red. When Tobio lets him go, he grabs his hand and starts dragging him to go find their hotel room. 

It takes him a few tries to get the key card into the slot, his hands are shaking with excitement. 

Shoyo _finally_ opens the door and walks through the doorway. 

He freezes when he sees the one queen bed in the middle of the room, Tobio walking in behind him. 

“Shit, I had no idea there was only one bed,” Tobio lies. Curse Oikawa and his stupid meddling. 

Shoyo turns to face him. “It’s okay, it’s a queen size so there’s enough room for the both of us, if you’re okay with that.” 

Tobio blushes and nods. 

Both of them drop their bags on the floor and get ready for their upcoming panel and meet and greet. 

* * *

_November 28th_

The first person steps up the microphone, looking up at the stage to where the youtubers are sitting. “Uh, this question is for Kodzuken; how does it feel being out and nonbinary and one of the most popular gaming channels out there?” 

Kenma answers with their usual apathetic tone, but the people who know them well can tell the question sparks something in them. 

“Pretty good, actually. It’s fun and I like what I do. And for the nonbinary part, I get misgendered a lot, but it actually bothers my boyfriend more than it does me, he’s really protective. I know what I am and that’s enough.” 

When they’re done speaking, they put their microphone down with a clunk and grab their boyfriend’s hand. The crowd awws at them. 

Another person steps up to the microphone. 

The question is for Shimizu Kiyoko and her girlfriend, Yachi Hitoka, about how long they’ve been together. Yachi blushes as she answers the question, and Shoyo smiles as he watches them scoot their chairs closer to each other.

After a few more questions, there’s finally one for Shoyo. 

“What’s your favorite part of the collab that you filmed with kodzuken and glittertooru and towobio?” the guest asks. 

Shoyo laughs. “I think it’s getting to work with so many awesome creators and to make some new friends. But all of it was so fun I don’t really know which is my favorite beyond that.” 

The questions keep coming, and thankfully, there’s none about Shoyo and Tobio’s relationship. 

The rest of the panel goes by in a blur, and Shoyo doesn't seem to notice the way Tobio's eyes never leave him. 

* * *

_Group DM Contents, November 30th_

_for “Collab ??”_

_admin_ **towobio** _(3 more users in chat)_

 **kodzuken** where r u guys

 **glittertooru** ur mom

 **kodzuken** im not even going to dignify that with a response

 **towobio** we’re in front of karasuno coffee

 **sunsho** oh i see u guys 

* * *

_November 30th_

Shoyo looked through the crowd to see Kenma and Oikawa coming towards them. The taller person is using Kenma’s as an armrest, and Kenma doesn’t look too happy about it. 

“Get him _off_ of me,” they say, trying to duck under Oikawa’s arm. 

Shoyo and Tobio just laugh at them, and Kenma glares. 

“You’re so tiny, Kenma, I bet I could put you in my pocket and carry you around,” Oikawa teases. 

Kenma _finally_ manages to duck out of Oikawa’s grip and punches him in the side. Oikawa shrieks. 

“That hurt, what the hell Kenma?”

Kenma laughs. “It’s what you deserve.” 

Oikawa scoffs. “This is a hate crime.” 

They laugh again. “Some people deserve to be hatecrimed.” 

Shoyo and Tobio watch their exchange with amusement. Even though their personalities are so different, Shoyo can tell that they respect each other and that they’re starting to become friends. 

They walk into the coffee shop together and order, all of them getting sugary drinks except for Kenma, who takes a plain black coffee. 

It’s easy being in their company, especially with Tobio, thinks Shoyo.

He could get used to doing this all the time. 

* * *

_December 6th_

After the convention ends, they meet up at Kenma’s apartment to finish editing the last parts of their collab and to post it. 

Things between Shoyo and Tobio are still awkward, their interactions seem forced. Tobio still hasn’t said anything about why he just left without saying goodbye on the last day of the convention, and Shoyo hadn’t asked. 

Neither of them had addressed the way they woke up tangled in each other every morning of the convention either, and it felt like all the progress they’d made in opening the other up had come undone. 

They all collectively hold their breaths as Kenma hits “post video”, and spend a few minutes watching the view count climb to one hundred. 

Shoyo closes the laptop as soon as the comments start rolling in. He makes a habit of not reading them unless Kenma sends him some, having had one too many bad experiences with transphobia and deranged shippers. 

“Should I bring out the champagne?” Oikawa asks seriously. 

Kenma starts giggling. “I didn’t mean it seriously when I asked you to bring champagne, but I’m not saying no.” 

Oikawa pulls the bottle out of his bag and opens it, it starts spraying over the floor. He aims the spray of champagne at Kenma, who starts shrieking and rolls out of the way to avoid getting soaked. 

“I hate you,” they say maliciously. “I will ruin your reputation.” 

Shoyo and Tobio watch as Kenma continues to threaten Oikawa, who is now mopping up champagne from the floor. 

Tobio turns to face Shoyo, moving his hand closer to Shoyo’s where it’s resting on the floor. “Can I- can I hold your hand?” he asks shyly. 

Shoyo nods. 

It feels like something’s shifted between them after that, like the pieces are falling back into place again. 

* * *

_DM Contents, December 22nd_

**sunsho** to **towobio**

 **sunsho** do you wanna do something for christmas together? 

**sunsho** we can invite kenma and tooru if u want 

**towobio** im okay with just the two of us

 **sunsho** we can meet up on the 24th? 

**sunsho** there’s a cool little christmas market near my apartment

 **towobio** great, see u then!

* * *

_DM Contents, December 24th_

**towobio** to **sunsho**

 **towobio** merry christmas shoyo

 **sunsho** merry christmas tobio

 **sunsho** thanks for everything

 **sunsho** i had a great time

 **towobio** <3

* * *

_DM Contents, December 30th_

**sunsho** to **towobio**

**sunsho** i know this is rlly random, but do u wanna film a collab together

 **sunsho** like one with just the two of us

 **towobio** sure! 

**towobio** i know its soon, but does january 2nd work for u?

 **sunsho** yeah

 **sunsho** i was thinking we do a q&a? 

**towobio** ooh yeah we can ask our subscribers to send in questions or something

 **sunsho** yeah!

 **sunsho** can't wait!

* * *

_Twitter, January 1st_

**tobio** @towobioyt

gonna ring in the new year with a collab coming soon with @sunshoyt! leave questions for us in the replies and we’ll answer them

871🗨️ 13.7k⟲ 23.8k♡

> **shoyo** @sunshoyt 
> 
> @towobioyt :D im so happy to be filming with you again its always so much fun 
> 
> 73🗨️ 1.2k⟲ 5.8k♡
> 
> **kghn lovebot** @kagehinaas
> 
> @towobioyt @sunshoyt ive been dying to know, are you guys together? 
> 
> 3🗨️ 200⟲ 872♡
> 
> **ceo of kghn** @sunshogf
> 
> @towobioyt @sunshoyt are the rumors true? did hinata really cheat on u with kenma? 
> 
> 15🗨️ 321⟲ 999♡

* * *

_January 2nd_

Shoyo stares into the camera awkwardly. It’s closer than he’s used to, and it’s strange being on this side of the camera, he’s used to doing his videos with an overhead camera looking down on his art, not sitting right in front of the camera. 

Tobio sits down next to him, grabbing his phone from where it's plugged in and resting on one of the arm rests, so that he can use it to answer the questions their subscribers sent in for the video. 

They decided on a question tag for their first collab with just the two of them, so there was no pressure, and it would help their subscribers get to know them better, hopefully. 

Shoyo looks at the space between them on the couch, wishing he could lean against Tobio like he had the last time they hung out together. He couldn't risk it, though. Some of their fans were crazy, and there were already rumors about them circulating the internet, saying that they were together, that Kenma and him were having an affair, that Tobio was paying Shoyo to act like they were a couple. 

He would love for the ones about their relationship to be true, wanted it more than he wanted a lot of things, actually, but he didn’t know if Tobio was okay with it, and he couldn't help but put Tobio over himself. 

That’s what happens when you like someone, he thinks to himself.

A warm hand on his shoulder snaps him out of his thoughts. 

“You ready to start?” asks the raven haired person sitting next to him. 

Shoyo nods. 

Tobio stands up to turn the camera on and then comes and sits back down. Shoyo notices he’s a few inches closer to him than he was before and he blushes slightly. 

They film the introduction and then it’s finally time to get the questions. They decide that they’ll take turns asking each other one and stop when they feel like they have enough footage. 

“Okay, here we go,” says Tobio, glancing at his phone to see the first question. “What’s something that not a lot of people know about you?” 

“Uhhh…” 

He’s quiet for a few seconds, trying to think of something. 

“Oh! I can speak Portugese, my stepmom’s from Brazil so she taught me growing up.” 

“That’s so cool,” Tobio replies, mentally kicking himself for not having a better response. “Say something in Portugese then.” 

“Eu gosto de você.” 

Tobio smiles at him. “What does that mean?” 

“I’m not telling you, you have to look it up later.” 

“Fair enough.” 

They continue filming, and as they go on, Tobio files away mentally which parts he’ll keep in the video and which ones he’ll cut out. 

“What’s your ideal type?” Shoyo asks for one of the questions, wrinkling his nose as he reads it. “That’s such a stupid question, there’s no way you can make everything you like about person specific just to one type. People overlap.” 

“Yeah,” Tobio agrees. “But I think that my type is someone sunshiney, and someone shorter than me so I can use them as a headrest,” he says with a laugh. 

Shoyo blushes and meets his eyes shyly. 

They stare at each other for a few seconds, each of them not wanting to be the first to break away. 

Tobio is the first one to break, and when Shoyo looks at him again, his face is flushed bright red. 

He suddenly notices how close they are to each other, having shifted towards each other, drawn together like magnets as they interviewed each other. He’s so close to Tobio that if he moved the slightest bit to the left he’d be tucked into the taller man’s side. 

“I- uh, I think that’s enough footage, right?”

Shoyo doesn’t want this to end, but he doesn’t know how to say so without making it awkward, so he just nods and stands up to turn off the camera. 

* * *

_Twitter Trends, January 12_

Trending in the United States

**#HAPPYBIRTHDAYKYUNGSOO**

10.3k Tweets

V League LIVE

**JACKALS V ADLERS NEWS AND UPDATES**

watch live footage now here

Music ⋅ Trending 

**“million”**

**> > trending with “billboard” and “spotify”**

BTS’ new single hits 15 million streams on spotify and six weeks on the billboard hot 100

261k tweets 

Trending in the United States

**#fursuitfriday**

2.7k Tweets

Content Creators ⋅ Trending 

**“kiss him”**

**> > trending with “kiss a ginger day**

fans of youtubers **sunsho** and **towobio** urge the two to kiss after rumors about their relationship surfaced, due to a video of them doing a question tag reveals that they might be interested in each other

20.2k tweets

click to see more trends

* * *

_DM Contents, January 15th_

**kodzuken** to **sunsho**

 **kodzuken** have you seen twt? 

**sunsho** im too scared to check 

**kodzuken** it’s not /that/ bad  
 **kodzuken** [attachment: screenshot.jpg]  
 **kodzuken** youre trending

 **sunsho** fuck  
 **sunsho** i told him to keep that question in   
**sunsho** i didnt think anyone would notice  
 **sunsho** what the fuck   
**sunsho** i dont know what to do

 **kodzuken** its gonna be okay sho  
 **kodzuken** i know i keep saying this but just tell him  
 **kodzuken** he likes you, trust me i can tell

 **sunsho** just because hes gay doesnt mean he likes me back

 **kodzuken** just trust me  
 **kodzuken** please

* * *

_January 15th_

Shoyo opens the door to find Kenma staring at him, cat-like eyes raking him up and down. 

“Kenma? Come on in, it’s cold outside.” 

They sit down next to Hinata on the couch, swinging their feet over his lap, settling into their usual position. 

“Tobio texted me. He said you haven’t answered his messages, have you even looked at them?” 

Shoyo shakes his head. “I didn’t know what to say.” 

Kenma makes a face at him. “I get it, but you’re hurting him. You can’t avoid it forever.” 

The tangerine haired man lets out a small laugh. “Watch me.” 

Kenma laughs with him. “ I won’t text him back then. I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to, Shoyo, you know that, I just don’t want either of you to get hurt.” 

Shoyo looks at him. “I know. I think I just need time.” 

“Okay,” they reply. “I brought my switch, wanna play mario kart?”

Shoyo’s face lights up, and they spend the next few hours shoving each other off of rainbow road.” 

* * *

_DM Contents, January 15th_

**towobio** to **sunsho**

 **towobio** are you ok?   
**towobio** i haven’t heard from you for a while so i just wanted to make sure

 **sunsho** im fine

* * *

_DM Contents, January 17th_

**towobio** to **sunsho**

 **towobio** do u wanna come over?  
 **towobio** we can film the second part of our collab 

* * *

_DM Contents, January 20th_

**towobio** to **sunsho**

 **towobio** are u sure ur okay? 

**sunsho** im fine im just sick

 **towobio** i can come over and bring you some stuff if u want

 **sunsho** its fine  
 **sunsho** i dont wanna bother you 

* * *

_January 21st_

Tobio stands outside Shoyo’s door nervously, and braces himself to knock. 

He does, rapping at the door twice sharply. He’s surprised when it’s Kenma who answers it, and not Shoyo. 

“He’s in his room,” they say. “He doesn’t want you here, but I think you need to talk to him so I’ll let you see him.” 

They start walking Tobio into the apartment and down a hallway, to Shoyo’s room. Tobio follows them. “If you hurt him, I’ll kill you, I’ll ruin your reputation,” they say. 

Tobio’s terrified, even though Kenma is almost a foot shorter than him. 

“The last thing I want to do is to hurt him,” they say. 

Kenma nods, and says, “Well here’s his room.” 

Tobio knocks softly and Shoyo answers almost immediately. “Come in!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u enjoyed please leave kudos or a comment!


	3. all i wanna do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a confession and a new gc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii sorry it took so long to update! i hope u enjoy, sorry this one's so short, the next one will be longer

_January 21st_

He walks through the door shyly, hunched over. He’s anxious; they don't want to ruin this. 

“Tobio?” says Shoyo, confused. “What are you doing here?” 

Tobio takes a deep breath in and then releases it. “Kenma said you were sick, and then you wouldn’t answer my texts. I was worried about you.” 

Shoyo’s eyes soften at the words. “Well, since you’re here, you can probably tell that I’m not really sick.” 

Tobio nods. “Yeah, but I can tell somethings wrong.” 

The smaller man sighs. “I’m sorry I lied to you, I didn’t know what else to do.” 

Tobio doesn’t really know what to say to that so he just stays quiet and lets Shoyo continue. He’s upset that Shoyo lied to him, but he can’t judge, he’s done the same thing to his friends, even dropped people because of all of the publicity and the rumors.

“I get if you don’t want to be,” there’s a pause for a beat. “Well, whatever we are, anymore, but please just don’t let this end badly.” 

Shoyo looks like he’s about to cry and Tobio can’t help but want to wrap his arms around him. “I like you,” Tobio says. “I like you a lot actually, and I don’t think there’s anything you can say that can make me change that.” 

Shoyo looks up at him, eyes wide. He takes a deep breath and releases it, then starts to speak. “My last girlfriend left me because all of the attention was too much. There were rumors about me dating someone different every other day and she was always scared of being chased by paparazzi. And there were always rumors that I was still in love with Kenma, even though he’s publicly dating Kuroo, and everyone was always trying to catch us together.” 

Tobio stares at him, not wanting to interrupt. That wasn’t what he was expecting to hear, but it’s understandable. His relationship with Tooru had been mistaken as romantic by many, and there was one occurrence where they were mobbed by crazy fans demanding proof that ‘oikage’ was real while they were out filming. 

“When everyone started talking about us on twitter, I freaked out,” Shoyo continues. “It really reminded me of that, and I started to close myself off again. I uh- I have major depressive disorder, so sometimes I get like that. I know it’s gonna make it hard if we’re ever going to be more than friends, so I’m sorry.” 

Tobio takes his hand in his. “You don’t ever have to be sorry for something that you can’t control. I like you, all of you, and I’ll take you as you are. And I hope we decide to be more than _this_ .” He takes a breath in and releases it. “I’d really, _really,_ like if we were more than this.” 

Shoyo smiles. “Are you asking me out?” 

“Yes I am, dumbass, take a hint already.” There’s no malice in the words, just their usual simple banter. 

Shoyo cups the side of Tobio’s face in one hand and Tobio leans down to kiss him, crashing their lips together softly. The kiss is messy, and he hits the corner of Shoyo’s mouth, but then Shoyo tilts his head ever so slightly and it’s just right, and his lips are soft against his. 

The kiss breaks because Shoyo can’t help but start smiling, and when he opens his eyes, Tobio is smiling right back at him. 

It’s perfect, like the sun is shining on a sunny day even though they’re in Shoyo’s windowless room. 

Tobio thinks he’d do anything to keep this to himself forever.

* * *

_Group DM Contents, January 27th_

_for “Collab ??”_

_admin_ **towobio** _(3 more users in chat)_

 **towobio** [attachment: 270120.png]  
 **towobio** gonna put this on twt later but i thought u guys should see it first

 **glittertooru** OH MY GOD  
 **glittertooru** MY LITTLE TOBIOS ALL GROWN UP

 **towobio** …

 **glittertooru** ok but actually im really happy for u tobio  
 **glittertooru** you deserve good things like this  
 **glittertooru** treat them well, shoyo

 **sunsho** i will

 **towobio** im-  
 **towobio** i- 

**kodzuken** i think u broke him, tooru

 **towobio** ily tooru

 **glittertooru** ily too  
 **glittertooru** but are u sure a kissing selfie’s really the way u wanna reveal it  
 **glittertooru** its kinda cliche

 **kodzuken** leave them alone tooru   
**kodzuken** i think its cute

 **sunsho** thanks kenma

 **towobio** fuck off kawa   
**towobio** u really cant be sentimental for more than five mins can u 

**glittertooru** :D

* * *

_January 30th_

Shoyo scrolls through his phone from where he’s sitting, head in Tobio’s lap. Tobio is absentmindedly carding a hand through Shoyo’s orange hair. 

“Should we post it?” Shoyo asks suddenly.

Tobio looks down at him, confused. “What do you mean?” 

“The relationship reveal tweet,” he says. 

Tobio bites his lip and thinks. He wants the world to know just how much he likes, maybe even loves, Shoyo, but he doesn’t want them to ruin their private lives. 

“I think we should wait,” he says. “I want this to myself for just a little longer.” 

Shoyo smiles. “Then that’s what we’ll do.” 

* * *

_Group DM Contents, February 1st_

_for “Sexy Bitches”_

_admin_ **catsumu** _(7 more users in chat)_

**catsumu** hey

 **towobio** what the hell is this

 **sunsho** atsumu??  
 **sunsho** like skating channel atsumu?

 **catsumu** the one and only

 **kiyoomistyle** what is this miya?

 **glittertooru** is this just a chat with all the gay ppl u know because thats all i can see we have in common here

 **catsumu** YES EXACTLY  
 **catsumu** well all the gay YOUTUBERS but yeah

 **kodzuken** hey

 **catsumu** oh my god they accepted the chat request im going to pass out

 **kodzuken** why is the gc name sexy bitches when tooru is here

 **iwazilla** SMACK CAM

 **glittertooru** WHAT THE HELL KENMA

 **iwazilla** oh and for those who don’t know im shittykawa’s boyfriend

 **kodzuken** omg  
 **kodzuken** we should collab together sometime, zumi, i really like ur vids

 **iwazilla** yessss

 **glittertooru** did kenma just steal my boyfriend

 **towobio** yes

 **sunsho** yes

 **kiyoomistyle** yes

 **kurooooo** what the fuck i thought we had something here

 **kodzuken** hi kuro  
 **kodzuken** dont worry i still love u 

**towobio** awwwww

 **catsumu** this gc was a mistake i hate gay people

 **catsumu** has changed the chat name to _“Gay ppl venting chat”_

 **sunsho** im

 **kiyoomistyle** HELP

 **catsumu** we all know its true 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos or a comment to lmk what u think!


	4. run away with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more oikawa and kenma shenanigans and a date to come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short update, the next chapter's gonna be rlly long, i hope u enjoy! i've been spending most of my time on an msby fic so look for that soon! and i started another chatfic with [tobiology](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobiology/pseuds/tobiology) , who is also sort of my beta, which you can read [here ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28597563)

_February 3rd_

The four youtubers have taken to hanging out together at Kenma’s apartment, almost every other day. They help each other with filming and editing, and just enjoy being in each other’s company. 

Oikawa is sprawled out on the couch, a hunched over Kenma in his lap, tapping away furiously at their Nintendo Switch. 

He runs a hand through Kenma's pudding colored hair absentmindedly. They’re like a cat, Oikawa thinks, shy but once you get to know them they crave affection. 

“Kenma?” Oikawa starts to ask.

"Yeah?" they respond, raising an eyebrow. 

"Can I do your makeup? You have really nice eyes." 

Kenma's nose scrunches up. "Are you trying to flirt with me, Tooru?" 

Oikawa makes a face of disgust. "Oh you are _so_ not my type." 

Kenma laughs. "Good, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." 

He pretends to be offended, but deep down he knows that it's just how Kenma shows affection. "Can I?" he asks again, since Kenma never really answered the question.

They shake their head no.

"Please, please, please, please, please?" Oikawa begs. "I'll play horror games in a stream with you and I'll let you choose which ones." 

Kenma scrunches up their nose again, this time in thought. "Fine." 

Oikawa squeals happily, throwing his arms around the smaller youtuber. "I can't wait." 

* * *

_February 5th_

Kenma throws their phone at Oikawa, who just barely manages to catch it. He looks at the screen to see the Instagram post he'd uploaded when he'd done Kenma's makeup. It has almost three hundred thousand likes, and the comments are all talking about how they want Kenma to graphically do things to them. 

"What the hell," Kenma says. "I didn't sign up for this shit.” 

Oikawa laughs. “I am so, so sorry,” he says. “This happened to Tobio when I did his makeup too, don’t worry.” 

“Tooru, there’s people out there calling me a milf. I’m twenty three fucking years old. And there was even a buzzfeed article about it and it was speculating if I’m going to become a model.” 

“If I take it down there’s only going to be more questions,” Oikawa says. 

Kenma sighs. “Fucking hell,” they mutter under their breath. “And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the dating rumors,” they add. Kenma mimes throwing up. “As if I’d ever date someone like you.” 

Oikawa scoffs. “I’ll have you know that I am an _amazing_ boyfriend, Kenma. Trust me, you’d love to date me.” 

Kenma scrunches up their nose. “I don’t need you anyways, I have Kuro.” they say.

"Rude." 

Tobio comes over to where they're sitting, drawn to them by the commotion. "What happened?" he asks. "Please tell me I'm not viral again I've had enough." 

"Not you, but Kenma here." the milk chocolate haired person says. 

"Oh my god," Tobio says. "Did you do their makeup?" 

"Yes," says Oikawa sheepishly. 

"Tooru you bastard you know what that does to people, it happened with me, it happened with Iwaizumi, I swear to god you need to warn people first." 

Kenma glares. "You knew this would happen?"

Oikawa nods, afraid of Kenma's wrath. 

"You knew this would inspire a wave of thirst tweets and comments about me? You knew it would go viral?" 

Oikawa nods again, and starts walking backwards in the direction of the door out of the living room where they're all hanging out. Tobio laughs, and prepares to watch Kenma chase the older man around the house. 

"You _piece of shit!_ " They stand up and start running after Oikawa, who's halfway out of the door. 

There's the sound of Oikawa shrieking and Kenma muttering expletives under their breath, and they go on for almost five minutes, then there's one last scream that's undoubtedly Oikawa's and then they fall silent. 

"Did they murder him?" Shoyo asks, coming up the stairs from where he was using the bathroom. He settles himself into Tobio's lap, leaning against the taller man's chest. Tobio rests his chin on top of Hinata's head. 

Tobio snorts. "Hopefully." 

Shoyo laughs. "Don't be mean." 

"He deserves it." 

Shoyo laughs again. "That's kind of true. But what happened?" 

"He did Kenma's makeup and it went viral and there were a ton of thirst tweets." says Tobio. 

"Oh," Shoyo says in response. "Is that what happened when he did yours and posted it last time? I remember seeing something about it but I didn't read into it." 

"Yeah," Tobio says. 

"I bet you looked great though." 

Tobio can't help but pull Shoyo into a kiss at the words. He's not used to being complimented, growing up, his parents were never really around and he never had friends before Oikawa, so it means a lot to hear it coming from Shoyo. 

Shoyo's lips are soft against his, and he slips bites down on his bottom lip and deepens the kiss. Shoyo's straddling him now, and he wraps his arms around his waist. 

All of a sudden, there's a voice from the doorway. 

"Oh my god, they're disgusting." 

It's Oikawa, and Tobio breaks the kiss to see that he's half soaked in water. 

"What the hell happened to you?" he asks. 

Kenma holds up a spray bottle in lieu of an answer. Tobio smiles. "Nice one."

Kenma grins, and Oikawa frowns. "You all hate me," he says. "I'm going to run away and then block all of you so none of you can ever talk to me again and I'm going to live a long happy life with Iwa-chan, because _he_ actually loves me." 

"Iwaizumi can't stand your ass," Tobio says, and Oikawa smacks him on the head, leaning down to get to where he's sitting on the floor. 

Oikawa sighs. "Everyone hates me." 

"Deserved," everyone replies with a laugh, and for a moment, Tobio feels like he has something special here, that he's finally found people that he feels like he belongs with. 

* * *

_DM Contents, February 7th_

**sunsho** to **towobio** ****

 **sunsho** hey :p

 **towobio** hey <3

 **sunsho** do u wanna go out somewhere  
 **sunsho** like for a date

 **towobio** yes ofc  
 **towobio** can i choose the place? 

**sunsho** sure   
**sunsho** what do u have in mind

 **towobio** surprise

 **sunsho** ooooh

 **towobio** does this saturday work for you?   
**towobio** at 11? 

**sunsho** yep  
 **sunsho** can't wait!

 **towobio** me too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos or a comment i love getting them


	5. 10/10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a date

_February 9th_

"You still haven't told me where we're going," Shoyo whines, leaning against the car window. Tobio has one hand on the steering wheel and is absentmindedly humming along to the shitty American pop song that's currently playing on the radio. 

Tobio smiles. “I told you,” he says. “It’s a surprise.” 

Shoyo groans. “I hate surprises.”

“I think you’re going to like this one,” Tobio replies mysteriously. "But if it's really bothering you, I can tell you." 

"It's okay," Shoyo says. "Sorry, I know I'm annoying." 

Tobio turns to face him suddenly. "Don't ever say that again," he says, voice deep and serious. "You're the furthest thing there is from annoying, and I really like hearing you speak, and I think it's cute when you get all excited. You don't have to hide yourself okay? Not with me." 

Shoyo's eyes soften. "Thank you," he says, hoping that his tone of voice will convey how thankful he is that Kageyama understands. "I'm sorry, I just close myself off a lot sometimes because of uh, past experiences so if I start acting all weird please don't take it personally. 

Tobio moves his hand to cover Shoyo's. "It's okay, I do the same thing sometimes. We can do this together, and we'll get through it. I know we're going to have a really good time, no matter what happens, nothing can ruin this, because I'm here, with _you._ " 

Shoyo smiles at him, and thankfully, they're stopped at a red light so he can lean over and pull Tobio into a kiss. 

* * *

It turns out that Tobio is taking them to an amusement park. Shoyo’s smile only widens when he sees where they are once Tobio pulls them into the parking lot.

"Did you ask Kenma for advice on where to take me?" Shoyo asks. 

Tobio blushes. "Maybe." 

Shoyo laughs. 

"What. dumbass? I wanted you to like it," 

"I'd like anything if it was with you," Shoyo replies truthfully. 

Tobio's blush darkens. "You can't just say things like that out loud," he says to hide the fact that he's visibly flustered. 

The orange haired man smirks and sticks his tongue out. "Watch me." 

They walk out of the car and through the entrance to the park. Shoyo is bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement as he walks, and Tobio can feel his energy from where their hands are intertwined. 

Shoyo offers to pay for his own ticket, but Tobio insists on handling it, saying that it’s a _date,_ and he’s supposed to. 

He wants to be able to treat Shoyo to something, and wants to be able to be a good boyfriend. He knows he might be overdoing it, but he’s never been in a healthy, successful relationship before and he wants to do this right. 

Tobio tightens their grip on Shoyo’s hand and watches the way the sun reflects through his hair, turning it a light shade of gold. 

He wants this to be as close to perfect as they can get, and he’s going to try his best to make it stay that way for as long as they're going to last. 

* * *

It turns out that Shoyo enjoys roller coasters, and Tobio stares up at one and the echoing screams that are coming from it and goes pale. 

Shoyo looks over at him and laughs. "Oh my god, you're totally scared, aren't you." 

"No I'm not," they manage to reply through how he's grinding his teeth.

"You'll be fine, I'm here with you." 

They work their way through the line and Tobio's anxiety only grows the closer they get to getting on the ride. Shoyo seems to sense it and starts stroking the back of his hand with his thumb. The motion is calming, and he can feel himself starting to relax. 

He screams his lungs out when they're on the ride, and he has Shoyo's hand in a death grip. He's dizzy when they get off but it's also the most thrilling thing he's done in ages. 

"Let's do that again," he says. His stomach still feels rumbly, but he wants to feel the rush of being held upside down in the air and Shoyo's hand clasped tight in his as he holds on for dear life. 

Shoyo nods and drags them over to another roller coaster. 

After they get off of their last roller coaster of the day, Shoyo runs over to one of the game booths, one of the ones with the water guns, and says, “I bet you can’t beat me!” 

Tobio grins at him wickedly. “It’s on.” 

He tries his best to aim the stream of water into the target, but his aim is pretty terrible, and Shoyo ends up winning, and picking out a large stuffed panda as his prize. 

“You’re so competitive,” Tobio says, as if they aren't the exact same.

“I wanted to win you something, so you’d have something to remember this by,” Shoyo says, and Tobio’s heart stops. 

“Oh,” he just says, hoping that Shoyo can tell how much it means to him. He’s not used to people wanting to do things for him, not used to people thinking about how he feels. 

Shoyo smiles, bright as the sun, and hands the oversized stuffed animal to Tobio. 

They walk over to another booth, and Tobio's now determined to win something for Hinata in return. He chooses a dart throwing booth and despite his years of volleyball, he can barely manage to hit enough of the balloons to win a unicorn plushie. 

He hands it to Shoyo with a triumphant grin on his face, and he wishes he could capture the way Shoyo's face lights up at it forever. 

* * *

"Do you want to ride the Ferris wheel?" 

Shoyo and Tobio are sitting on a bench in the park, sharing a bowl of ice cream.

It’s almost dark, and the park is about to close. Tobio nods, and they get up to go fall in line. 

The person manning the ride scans their tickets and they get onto the ride, Tobio almost falling over when the basket like compartment shifts under his weight. 

"It's kind of cliche, isn't it," Tobio says as the compartment starts to climb into the sky. He's a little terrified of heights still, but riding the roller coasters earlier and just being with Shoyo have helped him ease that fear. 

Shoyo smiles at him. "Sometimes cliches are nice," he says, and then he's leaning over and pressing their lips together. 

By the time the Ferris wheel comes back down, their lips are red and kiss swollen, and they're both grinning immensely. 

* * *

On the way home, Shoyo falls alseep against the car window, hand still in Tobio's. He regrets having to wake him when they finally reach Shoyo's apartment. He shakes Shoyo's shoulder lightly. 

"Wake up darling." 

Shoyo groans. "Where am I?" 

Tobio smiles at him in his sleep rumpled state. "You're with me, we just got to your place." 

Shoyo smiles dopily. "Today was perfect," he says. "I don't want it to end." 

"Me neither," Tobio admits. 

"Stay?" Shoyo asks. 

"I'll stay," Tobio replies. 


	6. like water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more plans, and a morning together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for 2000 hits, i hope u enjoy!

_February 10th_

Shoyo and Tobio wake up tangled in each other. For a second, Shoyo thinks that he's back in their hotel room from Vidcon, but then he raises his head and realises he's in Tobio's room. 

The memory of their date last night is still fresh in his mind, and he smiles and brings a hand up to touch his lips as he remembers the kiss on the Ferris wheel. 

He sneaks out of the bed, ducking under Tobio's arm, careful not to wake him, and walks to the kitchen. He's only in one of Tobio's shirts, which is way too big on him and hangs off of his shoulder, and a pair of boxers. 

Shoyo looks around in the pantry, trying to think of something that he can make for breakfast. He decides on pancakes, and quickly starts making the batter for them, trying to work fast so he can get them done before Tobio wakes up. He wants it to be his turn to surprise his boyfriend, as a way to thank him for taking him out yesterday. He takes a scoop of batter and puts it into the pan, the sound of it sizzling quietly music to his ears. 

After a while, he has a small stack of pancakes that is steadily growing. He turns back to the one that's on the pan, humming softly as he cooks. 

There's the sound of footsteps, and then suddenly, a pair of strong arms snake around Shoyo's waist. He yelps and drops his spatula turning around quickly. It's Tobio behind him, and not some random stranger like he'd automatically assumed. Of course it's Tobio, he tells himself. There's no one else in the house with them. 

"Sorry," Tobio says. "I didn't mean to scare you." 

"I almost grabbed the hot pan on accident and burned myself," Shoyo says. "How romantic." He smiles at him. "But it's okay. You're finally awake, huh? I wanted to surprise you, but I guess you woke up too early for that." 

Tobio laughs quietly and presses a kiss to Shoyo's lips. "You're perfect, any day with you is a pleasant surprise." 

Shoyo finished cooking, and Tobio helps him bring the plates to the table. 

They eat together, enjoying each other's company. They don't need to say much, it's almost as they can read each other's minds. They're in the stage of their relationship where they're happy enough that they're together, so happy that there's no need to fill the silence between them with rushed words or conversation. 

* * *

_Group DM Contents, February 10th_

_for “Gay ppl venting chat”_

_admin_ **catsumu** _(7 more users in chat)_

 **kiyoomistyle** i just realized  
**kiyoomistyle** i never got all of ur prns  
**kiyoomistyle** mine are they/he

 **glittertooru** omg twins  
**glittertooru** feminine terms only for now  
**glittertooru** oh and u can use she/her if we're close

 **catsumu** mine are he/him

 **towobio** they/them for now im not rlly comfy w he/him rn 

**sunsho** he/him

 **iwazilla** he/him

 **kodzuken** they/them

 **kurooooo** he/they

 **catsumu** nice nice   
**catsumu** n e ways  
**catsumu** how's everyone doing

 **kiyoomistyle -** ___ **-**  
**kiyoomistyle** im sitting right next to u atsu   
**kiyoomistyle** pay attention to me instead of texting 

**catsumu** no 

**kiyoomistyle** i hate u 

**catsumu** ooo u wanna kiss me so bad

 **iwazilla** get a room

 **catsumu** we are in a room

 **glittertooru** i hate gay ppl

 **kodzuken** u are gay ppl 

**iwazilla** smack cam

 **glittertooru** oh my god ken-chan and iwa-chan are gonna be the death of me

 **towobio** thank god  
**towobio** then ill finally be free of u 

**glittertooru** MEAN TOBIO

 **sunsho** i have an idea  
**sunsho** we should meet up

 **kodzuken** thats a horrible idea  
**kodzuken** im in 

**kiyoomistyle** when and where

 **iwazilla** i wanna go bowling  
**iwazilla** bc last time we went oikawa threw the ball so hard that it almost hit the wall and they fell flat on her ass

 **glittertooru** I FUCKING HATE U 

**sunsho** u have so much hate in ur small body how do u not explode

 **glittertooru** who the fuck r u calling small  
**glittertooru** ur literally the shortest one here

 **sunsho** I WILL END UR LIFE

 **towobio** YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE

 **glittertooru** I DID

 **kiyoomistyle** this is so entertaining

 **catsumu** OMI PAY ATTENTION TO ME   
**catsumu** GET OFF UR PHONE

 **kurooooo** oh how the turns table

 **kodzuken** are we going to go bowling or not 

**iwazilla** yes

 **kodzuken** yes

 **sunsho** yes

 **glittertooru** no 

**kiyoomistyle** yes

 **catsumu** yes

 **kurooooo** yes

 **glittertooru** FUCK

 **iwazilla** haha majority rules

 **sunsho** WOOOOO

 **kodzuken** so time and place ??

 **towobio** feb 14th??

 **glittertooru** thats valentines day

 **towobio** yeah we could do like a quadruple date or sth

 **glittertooru** as if id spend my valentines day w YOU

 **towobio** you literally dont have plans u told me three days ago

 **glittertooru** sigh

 **kodzuken** you guys would never get anything done without me admit it 

**kurooooo** true

 **sunsho** very true

 **kodzuken** does 1:00 work for everyone

 **sunsho** yeah

 **towobio** yep

 **glittertooru** works for us 

* * *

_Group DM Contents, February 14th_

_for “Gay ppl venting chat”_

_admin_ **catsumu** _(7 more users in chat)_

 **catsumu** we're on our way

 **towobio** we're already here  
**towobio** hurry up losers

 **glittertooru** MEAN 

**kodzuken** i see u guys

 **kiyoomistyle** meet u there

* * *

_February 14th_

"Shoyo," shouts Atsumu at the top of his lungs, causing the people standing nearby to stare, and runs over to where he's standing and pulls him into a hug. 

Tobio has to restrain himself and remind himself that him and Shoyo are together now; there's no reason for him to be jealous. He wanted Shoyo for so long that now it's an instinct to want to pull him close and to tense up when he's around others.

The rest of the group starts to trickle in slowly, and the lobby of the bowling alley starts to fill with the group of youtubers. 

They split the cost of the lane and rent their hideous looking bowling shoes, and then settle into the booth area as Kenma sets up the game. 

"It's ready," they shout, and the group stands up and lines up to play. 

"Lets play, bitches," Oikawa shouts at way too loud of a volume, a giant grin on their face. 

Everyone except for Kenma, who flinches and covers their ears, laughs.

"Bring it on," says Shoyo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos or a comment!


	7. pure fucking chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bowling. sakusa iwaizumi and kenma hate it here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for 3k hits and 300 kudos! this chapter was the death of me im sorry this is so bad and that it took me so long to update, i hope u guys still enjoy it anyways :p

_February 14th_

“So how are we going to do this?” Kenma asks. “Should we split up into teams or something?” 

Sakusa shakes their head, and says, “No teams. Every bitch for themselves.” 

Atsumu stares at him lovingly. “How did I ever find someone like you?” he asks.

“You hounded my youtube comments section _and_ my twitter asking me to give you a chance for almost a month,” Sakusa replies, deadpan. 

Iwaizumi laughs. “That’s almost as bad as what Shittykawa did to ask me out. This fucker confessed to me in the chat while I was streaming ‘Jedi Fallen Order’. I was so busy playing the game that I didn’t even see the message, and after I finally got back from my mission, the entire chat was screaming at me to scroll up.” 

Kenma's face scrunches up. "How could you do that?" they ask. "Literally everyone knows that you don't interrupt a stream for _anything._ " 

"Not Oikawa apparently," Iwaizumi replies. 

Sakusa sighs. "I guess this is the 'stuck with the stupid boyfriends' gang, huh?" 

Kenma and Iwaizumi laugh. "Yep," they both say at the same time. 

"I heard that!" Oikawa shouts from where they're busy changing the names on the console that controls the setup. "You fucking love me." 

"No I don't," Kenma and Iwaizumi both say, lightheartedly and at the same time. 

Sakusa laughs. "I don't either," they add in. 

"Omi-chan! What the fuck?" 

The curly haired person scrunches up their nose at the nickname, and they open their mouth to come up with a retort, but they're interrupted by Shoyo and Tobio coming back with four pitchers of soda and cups in hand. 

They set the drinks down on the table. "Should we start then?" Shoyo asks. 

Kenma and Oikawa nod at him. 

Shoyo is up first. He gets a strike on his first try, to everyone's shock, and he jumps up and down, celebrating his win. 

Tobio goes next, rolling the ball hesitantly. It goes slowly down the lane and then stops just inches from the pins. They have to call an attendant to remove it, and by the time it's done, Tobio's face is flushed red with embarrassment.

Kuroo is next, then Kenma, who both go without much of anything interesting happening. 

Sakusa goes next, scoring a spare. Everyone stares at him. 

"How are you and Sho so good at this?" Kenma asks. 

They grin. "That's a secret we'll never tell," Sakusa says, putting his hand down so they can high five Shoyo. 

Atsumu goes next, Sakusa and the rest of group who were standing, sitting down so they can watch Atsumu. 

"Oikawa move," Sakusa whines. "You're blocking the view." 

Oikawa scoffs. "Bitch I _am_ the view." 

Sakusa throws a napkin at them. 

Atsumu rolls the ball into the gutter, groaning. 

The group laughs at him. They'd been expecting him to be bad, but not _that_ bad. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go, both decent, but still not great. They deal with their own share of teasing from the group, spouting retorts left and right. 

Soon enough, it’s Kuroo’s turn to go again. 

“You guys should do the Wii bowling thing, whenever I score,” Kuroo says. The group stares at him blankly, but then Shoyo’s face lights up with recognition. 

“You mean where we all spin around like the background characters?” he says, laughing as he does. 

Kuroo nods, but Kenma scoffs. “That’s embarrassing,” they say. “And bold of you to assume that you’ll be able to score at all.” 

“Have faith in your boyfriend, Kenma,” he says, stepping up to the line to take his turn. He narrows his eyes, swinging the ball back and forth, and then repeating the motion, but then stops. 

“Why’d you stop?” Kenma asks. 

Kuroo turns around and puts his hands between his legs, ready to roll the ball backwards. 

Kenma groans. "Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me." 

Kuroo takes the shot, and manages to not completely mess it up, hitting the cluster of pins at almost the right angle, knocking six pins down. 

No one does the wii spinning thing like he'd wanted them to, and Kuroo looks at the group in disappointment. 

"Seriously? You guys suck." 

Sakusa snorts. "I knew no one was gonna do it," they say. Kuroo glares. 

Tobio’s turn is up next. Sakusa watches them go from their spot in Atsumu’s lap, eyes glinting with interest. He’s heard from Shoyo that Tobio has _terrible_ aim, 

There's a shout of "FUCK" and the clatter of a bowling ball rolling straight into the gutter. Everyone except for Shoyo, who's supportive as ever and tries to cheer Tobio up, laughs and teases him. 

"You're so bad at this Tobio," Oikawa says, giggling. He’s sitting half in Iwaizumi’s lap, almost mirroring the position that Sakusa and Atsumu are in. 

Tobio scoffs. "As if you're any better." 

“At least I remember to let go of the ball,” they retort. “You literally almost just hit yourself in the face. The ball _bounced,_ it’s not supposed to do that.” 

"Shut _up._ " Tobio says back. "It doesn't even matter, my score is still five points higher than yours." 

Oikawa looks up at the screen displaying the scores in disbelief. "No way. This is _rigged._ " 

"it's not," says Sakusa, who is currently in the lead, just ahead of Shoyo by two points. "You guys are just really bad at this." 

They keep playing, Kenma cursing loudly when Oikawa somehow manages to pull ahead of them by one point. 

“I will get you cancelled for being homophobic,” Kenma says menacingly. Iwaizumi laughs and high fives them. 

“I’m literally gay?!” Oikawa sputters. 

“I don’t care,” Kenma retorts. 

“You’d cancel yourself by association then; everyone will wonder why you hang out with me and your reputation will be _ruined._ " 

They cycle through another seven rounds, of turns; the competition fierce. Sakusa and Shoyo battle it out for first place, with Sakusa coming out on top. 

"Let's eat then?" Shoyo says, and everyone agrees. 

The group spends almost fifteen minutes arguing over who’s going to pay for the food. Shoyo argues that it’s his responsibility to pay, since it was his idea that they all meet up in the first place, but then Iwaizumi argues that since he came up with the idea to go bowling, he should be the one paying for the food. 

After a while, Kenma, sick of the arguiging, slams their credit card down on the table. “I’ve got it. And don’t worry,” they say. “It’s my treat.” 

“What are you, our sugar daddy?” Atsumu asks sarcastically. 

“The gender neutral term is glucose guardian, actually,” Sakusa says, smirking. 

Everyone starts laughing loudly, and even Kenma themself giggles. “Something like that,” they say. 

“I hate millionaires,” Oikawa whines. “I wish I was rich.” 

Kenma snorts. “We hate you too.” 

The afternoon continues like that, with food and another game of bowling. It's close, but Sakusa manages to win again, much to Shoyo's chagrin. By the time they're done with their third game, it's dark outside, and Kenma declares that they need to get going. 

The youtubers hug each other goodbye, saying they had fun and that they'll meet up again in a week to edit footage and post a video, since Oikawa had gotten some clips of them playing. 

_Group DM Contents, February 14th_

_for “Gay ppl venting chat”_

_admin_ **catsumu** _(7 more users in chat)_

 **catsumu** did everyone get home safely? 

**sunsho** i did! 

**kiyoomistyle** we literally live together, atsu

 **catsumu** -____-   
**catsumu** i wasnt asking you, shithead

 **kiyoomistyle** romantic

 **iwazilla** PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD  
 **iwazilla** STOP FLIRTING

 **glittertooru** i think its cute  
 **glittertooru** we should be like that iwachan

 **iwazilla** ew  
 **iwazilla** i cant stand u

 **kodzuken** i hate this gc  
 **kodzuken** i hate you all  
 **kodzuken** all u know is be gay argue and eat hot chip and lie

 **kurooooo** KENMA I THOUGHT U LOVED ME 

**glittertooru** ME TOO

 **kodzuken** the earth is cruel and vulgar i love no one except shoyo

 **sunsho** i love u too kenma ! 

**catsumu** wow. 

**towobio** im  
 **towobio** and yeah we got home okay!

 **kodzuken** oh yeah me and kuro did too

 **kiyoomistyle** it was fun  
 **kiyoomistyle** we should do sth like this again 

**iwazilla** yeah

 **catsumu** we should

 **sunsho** yeah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos or a comment to let me know what you think! im always looking for feedback :)
> 
> some of my other fics u can read while u wait for the next update:   
> [everything stays](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29616633) \- oisuga/iwaoi angst   
> [involuntary ties](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28561650) \- sakuatsu royalty au   
> [keeping up w the msby black jackals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28919781) \- sakuatsu kghn and bokuaka scomed au!


	8. but i turn to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gc expands and i throw in some angst for funsies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *giggles maniacally* (also sorry this is so short, i think im going to keep the chapters shorter so i can update more frequently bc i feel rlly bad for making yall wait for so long)

_Group DM Contents, February 15th_

_for “Gay ppl venting chat”_

_admin_ **catsumu** _(7 more users in chat)_

 **catsumu** can i add more ppl to the gc ****

 **iwazilla** sure

 **sunsho** yeah

 **kiyoomistyle**........  
**kiyoomistyle** yes but i will regret saying yes bc i know who it is  
**kiyoomistyle** wait nvm kaashi being here will make it worth it

 **towobio** im fine w it

 **glittertooru** me too

 **kurooooo** if its who i think it is then yes

 **catsumu** okay then :p 

**catsumu** _has added_ **bokutowl** _and_ **kaashivlogs** _to the chat  
_

**towobio** welcome 

**kiyoomistyle** welcome to hell 

**kurooooo** BOUKTO  
**kurooooo** BROOOOOOO

 **kaashivlogs** hello

 **kiyoomistyle** akaashi my beloved

 **kaashivlogs** kiyo!!

 **bokutowl** KUROO BESTIE

 **sunsho** OMG BOKUTO I LOVE UR CHANNEL  
**sunsho** IM SUCH A BIG FAN

 **bokutowl** TY TY

 **kaashivlogs** why is the gc name gay ppl venting chat

 **catsumu** why not

 **iwazilla** bc shittykawa is here

 **glittertooru** MEAN IWACHAN

 **kodzuken** deserved

 **kaashivlogs** oh hey kenma   
**kaashivlogs** wait we should all say our pronouns bc not everyone knows each other   
**kaashivlogs** mine are they/them

 **bokutowl** he/him

 **towobio** they/them

 **sunsho** he/him

 **iwazilla** he/him

 **glittertooru** they/she (he if we're close)

 **catsumu** he/him

 **kiyoomistyle** they/he

 **kodzuken** they/them

 **kurooooo** he/they

 **kaashivlogs** cool cool  
**kaashivlogs** n e ways what are you guys' plans for today?

 **towobio** editing  
**towobio** so much fucking editing 

**glittertooru** yeah me and tobio are editing all the footage from the day we went bowling

 **kodzuken** that was sm fun i miss it 

**catsumu** so when r we all meeting up again, huh?

 **kiyoomistyle** i cant stand any of u so never 

**catsumu** OMIIIIII  
**catsumu** OMI OMI

 **kiyoomistyle** what

 **catsumu** say u love me 

**kiyoomistyle** no   
**kiyoomistyle** i lvoe yuo  
**kiyoomistyle** ATSU U MFER U STOLE MY PHONE  
**kiyoomistyle** this is slander  
**kiyoomistyle** i hate u 

**catsumu** hehe

 **kodzuken** oh to be in love,,,

 **kurooooo** we're literally dating ??

 **glittertooru** lmao

* * *

_DM Contents, February 16th_

**towobio** to **sunsho**

 **towobio** do u wanna get coffee tomorrow?  
**towobio** im free at 1:00  
**towobio** if u wanna go just lmk and ill pick u up  
**towobio** i miss you :(

* * *

_DM Contents, February 17th_

**towobio** to **sunsho** ****

 **towobio** are u ok?   
**towobio** i can come over if u want  
**towobio** i hope ur not sick again and if u are i hope u feel better 

* * *

_DM Contents, February 18th_

**towobio** to **sunsho** ****

 **towobio** shoyo?  
**towobio** please talk to me im getting worried  
**towobio** hhhh  
**towobio** i hope ur ok 

* * *

_Group DM Contents, February 20th_

_for “Gay ppl venting chat”_

_admin_ **catsumu** _(9 more users in chat)_

 **sunsho** hey guys  
**sunsho** im bored how r u all doing ^__^

 **bokutowl** IM GOOD SHO

 **towobio** im okay hru sho  
**towobio** i hope ur okay pls talk to me **(unsent)**

 **sunsho** im sorry tobio, im sorry im hurting you **(unsent)** **  
sunsho** BOKUTO   
**sunsho** WE SHOULD COLLAB ONE DAY   
**sunsho** I USED TO PLAY VOLLEYBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL WE SHOULD PLAY SOMETIME

 **bokutowl** YEAHHHH 

**kuroooo** can i join?   
**kuroooo** this is gonna be interesting 

**kodzuken** shoyo's an amazing spiker

 **glittertooru** god i wish i played a sport in high school  
**glittertooru** but nooooo i got stuck w art  
**glittertooru** at least digital art class taught me how to edit

 **kiyoomistyle** lucky  
**kiyoomistyle** i had to teach myself

 **glittertooru** ew

* * *

_DM Contents, February 22nd_

**sunsho** to **bokutowl**

 **sunsho** so when do u wanna meet up  
**sunsho** and ooo i cant believe i forgot to ask earlier  
**sunsho** what position did u play?

 **bokutowl** i was the ace !

 **sunsho** GAHHH THATS SO COOL  
**sunsho** ME TOO THO

 **bokutowl** WOAHHH  
**bokutowl** and does sunday at 2:00 work for u?

 **sunsho** yeah! 

**bokutowl** cool i'll pick up then just text me ur address 

* * *

_DM Contents, February 23rd_

**towobio** to **glittertooru**

 **towobio** tooru

 **glittertooru** yeah?  
**glittertooru** what's up?

 **towobio** hhhhh  
**towobio** i feel like shoyo is gonna break up w me 

**glitttertooru**???  
**glittertooru** wtf would you say that   
**glittertooru** he clearly likes u a lot

 **towobio** he hasnt responded to any of my dms in days   
**towobio** but he talks in the gc  
**towobio** but if i try to talk to him in the gc he ignores me

 **glittertooru** IM GONNA KILL HIM   
**glittertooru** GONNA BEAT HIS ASS INTO NEXT WEEK  
**glittertooru** IM SO 

**towobio** tooru

 **glittertooru** ILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM SO HARD HIS VERTEBRAE WILL POP OUT OF HIS MOUTH LIKE A PEZ DISPENSER

 **towobio** TOORU

 **glittertooru** sorry right

 **towobio** you dont have to do that  
**towobio** i just want to know what i did wrong

 **glittertooru** tobio  
**glittertooru** you did nothing wrong at all  
**glittertooru** like i cant even imagine u doing anything that could get me to want to stop being ur friend  
**glittertooru** so u couldnt have pushed shoyo away

 **towobio** i hate ppl leaving me   
**towobio** youll probably be next lmao

 **glittertooru** NEVER  
**glittertooru** i promise u ur stuck w me forever

 **towobio** thanks ily

 **glittertooru** ily more  
**glittertooru** ill try and talk to him if u want  
**glittertooru** like i can try and see if i can get him to open up to me

 **towobio** hhhh ok  
**towobio** just dont make it obvious

 **glittertooru** dont worry i wont  
**glittertooru** im the most subtle person u know

 **towobio**....  
**towobio** ur literally the definition of flamboyant bitch

 **glittertooru** SHUT UP ?   
**glittertooru** im like a ninja   
**glittertooru** stealth go brrr

 **towobio** lmao  
**towobio** thanks that made me laugh i rlly needed that 

**glittertooru** anytime

* * *

_DM Contents, February 23rd_

**towobio** to **sunsho**

 **towobio** hey  
**towobio** i dont know what i did but im sorry  
**towobio** im so sorry  
**towobio** i dont know where i went wrong but i really dont want to lose this  
**towobio** please just talk to me

 **sunsho** stop texting me kageyama  
**sunsho** its better this way, i promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry, shoyo has his reasons and all will be explained in the next few chapters. please leave kudos and/or a comment if u enjoyed!
> 
> some of my other fics u can read while u wait for the next update:   
> [doing what i can](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28843980) \- nonbinary oikawa ft iwaoi getting together !!  
> [be whatever you want](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28843980) \- halloween kagehina  
> [ashes ashes, (dust to dust)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444845) \- sakuatsu character study  
> all of these are completed!


	9. i hope you don't mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh hey this chapter was REALLY hard to write and im not entirely happy with it but its not going to get any better so here yall go i guess

The texts hurt to send. 

Well, the lack of texts is more like it. 

What hurts even more is that Shoyo's done this before, Tobio's no stranger to being hurt by him. 

But he's not enough for Tobio, and soon, Tobio's vision will clear and he'll realize that Shoyo's not who he thinks he is, that Shoyo has a shitload of abandonment issues to unpack, and those, combined with his depression makes him distance himself people, especially those he loves. 

Yeah, he loves Tobio. But he knows he can't be enough for him, so he's ending it now. It hurts, but it'll keep him from being thrown out in the future. 

Shoyo sighs. He has to figure out what to do next, now. 

He could keep ghosting Tobio, or he could just cut him off completely and break up with him. He'd already told Tobio to stop texting him too, so he could just wait and see what he does. As of now, Tobio hasn't replied to that text, just left him on read. But that would probably end up with him showing up at his and Kenma's apartment like he did the last time that this happened. He sighs again. He needs a second opinion. He texts Kenma. 

* * *

_DM Contents, February 23rd_

**sunsho** to **kodzuken**

 **sunsho** hey

 **kodzuken** hey sho  
**kodzuken** what are u doing to urself

 **sunsho** wdym?

 **kodzuken** i know ur not talking to tobio anymore  
**koduzken** tooru told me  
**kodzuken** hes worried abt tobio but hes worried abt YOU too

 **sunsho** but why  
**sunsho** im just doing whats best for me 

**kodzuken** shoyo.   
**kodzuken** please u dont understand how much ur hurting him

 **sunsho** well its not like he loves me anyways  
**sunsho** not like i love him

 **kodzuken** call me?

* * *

Shoyo knows it's serious when Kenma asks to call him. The pudding haired youtuber usually preferers to text or dm, leaving calls for serious situations only. 

The phone rings twice before Kenma picks up. 

"Why, Sho? What happened?" 

Shoyo sighs, his voice starting to shake. "I don't know, Kenma, I'm sorry." He sniffles. "I'm so sorry, fuck." 

Kenma makes a humming noise. "You don't have to be sorry to me, if there's anyone you need to apologize to it's Tobio," they say gently. 

"I can't," says Shoyo, voice breaking. He's starting to cry now, it's the first time in days that he's letting the tears flow. 

Kenma nods, even though they know that Shoyo can't see the movement. "Okay. Can you start from the beginning for me?" 

"O- okay," Shoyo says. "I don't know what happened, I just started feeling really bad and then suddenly everything was too much and then everything was telling me to cut him off again. Like you know that feeling when you get like, tired in a sense? Like when you're so exhausted of having to try because relationships are hard and nothing like they are in movies, and then you think _oh,_ there's nothing really making me try in the first place." He laughs a little bit. "That probably made no sense, sorry." 

"No it did," Kenma responds. 

Shoyo says, "I guess this makes me a really shitty boyfriend, doesn't it." 

"No, not really," Kenma says. Their tone is flat and steady, and oddly comforting, and it lets Shoyo know that they'll be there for him, no matter what. "It's okay to feel horrible sometimes, it doesn't make you a shitty person. You did what you thought was best, and you tried to put yourself first, and even though it didn't turn out great, I'm proud of you for it." 

Shoyo nods. "Thanks. You know I love you, right?" 

Kenma laughs. "I was just about to say that. I love you too, Shoyo. Now how are you going to fix things with him?" 

"I think I have a plan." 

* * *

Truthfully, it isn't much of a plan. Shoyo decides to just show up to Tobio and Oikawa's apartment, and hopefully by the time he's there, he'll have thought of something to say. But as most things between Shoyo and Tobio go, things don't go as planned. 

Shoyo opens his door to drive to Tobio's apartment, and walks straight into Tobio himself. 

"Tobio?" he says in shock. "What are you doing here?" 

Tobio runs a hand through his hair nervously. "I was worried about you. And uh, Tooru said if I didn't come and talk to you he'd kick my ass so hard I'd fly to America, so yeah." They laugh to break the silence. 

"That sounds like her, all right," Shoyo says. "I'm sorry. I know that's not enough, but uh, I'm really sorry." 

"It's okay," Tobio says. "Wait, that doesn't sound right. I mean like, I forgive you, but it's not really okay, because I was really worried, and you kind of broke my heart and all." 

Shoyo stares up at him. "What?" 

Tobio coughs, awkwardly. "You, uh, broke my heart?" 

"O- oh." 

Tobio runs a hand through their hair again. "You know that I love you, dumbass, right? " they say, stepping towards Shoyo and pulling him into a hug. "You don't have to say it back yet, if you're not ready, but I just wanted you to know." 

Shoyo nods against Tobio's chest. "I missed this," he says. "I missed _you._ " 

They stay like that for a while, until Shoyo pulls away. 

"Uh, you should probably come inside," he says. "We have a lot to talk about." 

The two of them sit down on the couch, and Tobio gives Shoyo a look that screams, 'please tell me,' so he starts talking. 

"I cut people off when I'm scared," Shoyo starts. "And I, I was really scared that what we had was going to end, and that you were going to leave me, so I decided it was better to leave you first." 

Tobio nods. "I get that." 

"And it sounds so, _so,_ stupid now, but I was planning to break up with you. Thankfully, Kenma talked me out of it," he says, giggling a little. "God this is so dumb."

"It's not," Tobio says, looking him straight in the eye. "You were scared, and you had your reasons."

Shoyo nods, shyly. "I know. And I'm sorry, but I get like this a lot, and I'm going to be scared you're going to leave me a lot, and I'm going to be that annoying, clingy boyfriend that asks all the time if you're mad at me." 

"Hey," Tobio says, tilting Shoyo's chin up with his finger so they're eye to eye. "I'm willing to give you as much reassurance as you need, okay? I'm in this for a long time, and I don't think that there's anything you could do that could make me leave." They laugh. "Unless you killed me, of course." 

Shoyo giggles. "Homoerotic swordfight to the death?" 

"Yeah, something like that. And I know that there's not much that can make it easier, but I'm willing to give you whatever you need. I want to make this work." 

Shoyo nods. "I do too. And I'm sorry, but it's going to be hard. I'm going to get like this again, I'm going to want to leave." 

"That's okay," Tobio replies. "As long as I'm with you in the end, that's okay." Tobio pulls Shoyo into his lap and hugs him. He's missed this, and with Shoyo in his arms, everything is starting to feel okay again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u enjoyed this, if u did or if u have feedback drop kudos or a comment please !

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, updates will be sporadic since im really busy w school and my mental health is tanking, sorry!


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